there's more to life than this (by bjork)

yeah i don't know what i expected. if i thought coming out was bad (which didn't even go smoothly until my siblings jumped in and said my mom had a weird fucking response), everything else is going to shit. i don't know what i prefer: a parent that's trying to be supportive or a parent that doesn't support at all. guess i'll find soon, with my mom being the former in a crappy way (and trying to prolong the whole process of me being on hrt) or my dad that might throw a cup in my face and kick me out. what did i think would happen having parents like mine would accept?

i'll come out and say it, "hey dad, i don't feel like a girl. i'm a boy. i'm transgender," and he'll get so mad. he'll kick me out. or atleast throw profanities in my face. or they'll keep me in the house but i'll feel like a stranger in the place i grew up in. god damn. nothing is as easy as it seems.

edit: and i don't even have a fucking bed in the house. if my life was a show, people would call the show's writers crap. i literally have no belonging in the house anymore. and it's almost winter break soon. great